Four Best Ways to Increase NHL Popularity

In Canada, we're set. We don't need any fancy promotions or huge sales on tickets to get us to go to games (actually, forget that, *I* need those huge sales to get me to go to a game... because otherwise I can't afford it - a full weekend in Pittsburgh and lower bowl seats to the Pens game was cheaper than going to a Leafs game. Dammit). However, once you go further south to where ice is not happening, pretty sure its only natural that hockey isn't going to be as popular. So yeah, the NHL has tried a few different tricks to lure people in...


Ice Girls
Ummm, i.e. basically cheerleaders wearing very little that shovel off the ice during breaks. Don't get me wrong, I am one who believe that cheerleading is a real sport - I've seen those competitions; I've seen 'Bring It On'; they don't eff around. So I will change that to hotties with bodies wearing very little. Anyways, this makes COMPLETE sense - more guys will come to the games to watch these ladies. Of course, they are in an effing ice rink and are barely wearing any clothes but... the guys will still watch them when they get frost bite, right?




Take Teams Out of Canada, Where Hockey is Our National Sport, and Move Them to Thriving Hockey Towns.... Like Dallas
When you think Texas, what do you think? Umm hi Varsity Blues, you think football. When you think Nashville, you also...well, I don't know anything about football actually, but I would say when you think the South, you don't think hockey - Carrie Underwood informs me of this (they can't keep ice cold!)

Make a Super Hero for Each NHL Team to Attract Comic Book Fans!
You know what, on paper, maybe this is a good idea. And actually, I've asked a few comic fan friends of mine about this and they think its cool. But then I followed with "Do you want to watch the game with me then???" which was greeted with a blank stare and a "Uhhh no. Why would I want to do that?"

"He is also a huge douche!

Just a quick recap of some of my fave descriptions of the Guardians or whatever ridiculous thing they are running this as (umm ps... sorry if you like this idea... you're a weirdo but to each his own... just move past this to the last great idea):

• "The Canadien is a ladies' man, culturally refined and quite simply the best at everything he's ever attempted." - WHO EFFING WROTE THIS!?!!? I'm preeeeeeetty sure someone in Montreal is giggling about how they were able to get away with that rewrite. 
• "Although the Bruin gives off a blue collar vibe, he is one of the well-educated Guardians." - So some of the Guardians are stupid. I think I already knew this.
• "Normally he exhibits a low-key almost passive nature choosing to avoid conflict." - Uhh he's a SHARK! i.e. number one nightmare of my life! "Avoid Conflict"

I'm very excited to see Toronto's Guardian... A leaf...

Have Hockey Players Pose (Nearly) Nude for Magazine Shoots
Well... hello there.... Sorry what? Oh, yeah no, this is a fantastic idea. Not kidding. Keep up the good work - make the Penguins do this...